I just love running across wacky items on Ebay. This humorous prototype of the Scientology e-meter is currently selling for $43.

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Item Specifics:

Item Condition: New
Item Type: e-meter
Type: Mark 9000
Year: 2257
Subject: Education

After intensely studying the works of Volney Mathison, inventor of the e-meter, and L. Ron Hubbard, who ripped off Mathison to make his own similar meter, I've reached into the future and hacked, ripped off, and refined the e-meters of the past with this Mark 9000 e-meter! The improvements you'll notice right away. And this is handcrafted! And I don't even want to tell you how long it took to make!

On the front you will see that it is a simplified reading from either Mathison's or Scientology's. If there is an engram or a thetan, the meter will show that, and the non-functioning lights will wish they could blink appropriately. Note also that the dial on the lower left goes up to 11! Show me anybody else's meter that goes to 11!

On the inside you will see the technology I have discovered. What better way to detect thetans but with thetans! The green porcine thetan looks for nonhuman entities, and the cute girl/clock thetan looks for human entities. I've used high-tensile ultra-clear tape to ensure that this product is as good as it gets! And the string has a tensile strength of 20 pounds!

One of the cans is a real Campbell's name-brand can, while the other is an off-brand. I did this to create an oscillating tone between the cans that helps wake up the thetans as you hold the cans.

This is the one-of-a-kind prototype, so no warranty is included. But if you have any thetans after 90 days of use, I'll gladly give a refund provided the thetans sign a statement saying "I'm still here, jackass."

[note: I may have to remove the battery for shipping]

If you find this amusing, you might want to check out the questions from buyers, and answers from the seller. They're all just making fun of Scientology, and many are quite humorous if you have a basic understanding of Scientology beliefs (but to see most of them, you have to sign into your Ebay account- boo, hiss!)