I used to go to weird dances all of the time when I was a
teenager. They always had weird names like ‘Watchamacallit’ or ‘Rainbow
Collapse’ and there were a million DJ’s that no one ever really cared about. I
came to the realization somewhere along the line that I was actually paying $20
cover charges so I could do all sorts of things in a room other than my own. I
paid the cash so I didn’t have to spin the records myself and I could focus on
breathing after drinking a few beers. I almost died
several times because the cheap ass club owners love to turn the heat up around
1 AM or so and charge $5 for a bottle of water. I don’t blame them, it’s a bunch
of bombed out kids and no one is old enough to buy beer so you do whatever it
takes to make money. There were always at least a few hot chicks at each dance
and they were on so many drugs that it was like taking candy from a baby, a
retarded baby. You could toss them one of those expensive bottles of
water and a fresh tube of Vick’s Vapor Rub and the deal would be sealed. I took
home a bunch of girls with that tactic but not a single one of them looked
remotely as hot as Hungarian, Niki Belucci.

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